I'm probably hitting a delicate issue here, but I want to vent my thoughts anyway

In dutch, it's very common to use a so-called 'passive voice' in a sentence:
"something is done...", "a game is released ..."
(dutch: "iets wordt gedaan...", "een spel wordt uitgebracht..." )

In english, however, you'd better avoid this passive voice as much as possible and use an active voice instead: "Someone does something...", "MRC released a new game..."

Keeping the above in mind, read the latest news post:

Quote:

During the last Vintagenarios meeting (part of the BCN Party fair), there was a lot of MSX action. Not only were two interesting hardware projects, Dumas and new games with new soundchips announced, a new MSX game was released as well: Dahku by Kralizec. This new smooth scrolling MSX platform game was released for a price of 15 euros. A promo of the game, released at the end of September, can be found on the Kralizec website. The game seems to be inspired by such classics as Usas, Bubble Bobble and Frantic. A review of the game (in Spanish) can already be found over here. In the Netherlands, Kralizec games are being distributed by Bitwise. The game was also demonstrated during the Bussum 2005 MSX fair.

Apart from the very first sentence, it's passiveness galore: only passive sentences! A passive sentence is not bad per se, but -- as the term suggests -- it suggests well... passiveness: the subject of the sentence just 'happens', no action or effort involved. And that's usually not what the writer wants to convey.

Here's an effort to 'activate' the above news post:

Quote:

The latest Vintagenarios meeting ( ... ) showed a lot of MSX action! Not only did MATRA announce two interesting hardware projects, Dumas and a series of new games with new sound chips, Kralizec also released a new MSX game: Dahku. Dahku is a smooth scrolling MSX platform game and will cost you only 15 euro. You can find a promo of the game, released at the end of September, on the Kralizec website. Game classics like Usas, Bubble Bobble and Frantic seemed to be a major source of inspiration for the creators of Dahku. A review of Dahku, in spanish, is over here. Distributor of Kralizec games in the netherlands is Bitwise, who also demonstrated the game during the Bussum 2005 MSX Fair.

Well, it ain't perfect, but it's at least active

[edit]
A small improvement on the text:

Dahku is a smooth scrolling MSX platform game, inspired on game classics like Usas, Bubble Bobble and Frantic. The game will cost you only 15 euro's and you can find a promo of the game, released at the end of September, on the Kralizec website. A review of Dahku, in spanish, is over here.
[/edit]

"But at least it's active" would be a better choice of style.

I agree on your comments by the way, active writing styles seem less stiff, and are easier, or perhaps 'more pleasant', to read. Of course these days hardly anyone writes half decent texts in their native language, let alone a foreign (to them) language. In that light, I am quite happy with the quality of texts on the MRC.

Anyway, in any written text that has not been checked over and over, you can find mistakes, style errors etc. Nations, and languages should be written with capitals for example..."The Netherlands", and "Spanish", there is no apostroph in English plural forms (Euros instead of Euro's), opposed to Dutch there should always be a comma in front of 'and', and it is more common in English to use plural verbs when an institution, club or company is involved: "Distributor of Kralizec games in The Netherlands are Bitwise".

Believe me, it's difficult to unify the MRC writing style, this is an interesting read, however. Thx AuroraMSX! And yes, I know my english is far from perfect, I am learning though. I've read....uh....I mean.....I read some english texts I wrote in 2001, they were much worse, they really were

I mean......They are much worse, they really are......I think

yet more reasons to use code instead

Kralizec.distribution=Bitwise;

see? no bugs

Yes, I see a segmentation fault

AuroraMSX

are you sure that

Quote:

there was a lot of MSX action

is passive in English? I am not sura at all, as the verb to be has no object.

If I am rigth, the only passive sentence in the firsth block is

Quote:

a new MSX game was released

where the part that says

Quote:

Not only were two interesting hardware projects

simply needs the "there".

My English sucks but I whould do a check on the passive
in English wrt the verb to be.

I guess most MRC users are not native English speakers so they don't think much about the use of passive sentences. However, as AuroraMSX points out, it is not good to use passive sentences in English. In fact, English grammar checks usually complain about passive sentences. Since I am a Swede, I'm not bothered about the passive sentences as it is the most common form in Swedish as well, but I think native English speakers may think it looks a bit weird. So a little grammar lesion does not hurt.

I must say that the contents of the articles is more important though, and I think the MRC crew and users are doing an excellent job providing us with interesting posts.

(Btw, Using active voive is hard. I ran a grammar check on this post and although I tried hard, the check found two passive sentences )

The following sentences in the original post are using passive voice:

were announced
was released
can be found
be inspired
can already be found
are being distributed
was also demonstrated


However, the sentence "was a lot of MSX action " is (I think) using active voice as ARTRAG points out.

I do not see any problem in the use and abuse of passive forms. Actually, it is considered as a more polite way of expression and thus it is recommended for written English.

Nah, I have to disagree that its recommended. In fact its NOT recommended (at least in American english). I asked our technical editors about it and they say that active voice is always recommended in most type of written documents.

(Another thing that could be interesting to know is that the preferred written english dialect is Canadian english at least in international journalism. Canadian english is kindof american grammar and brittish spelling and its politically neutral.)

ooooh canada, our home an native land.... mmmm mmmm... weee stand in guard for thee

MrRudi:

Quote:

"But at least it's active" would be a better choice of style.

You're right

Quote:

there is no apostroph in English plural forms (Euros instead of Euro's)

(apostrophy) Actually, a native speaker told me that in english "euro" is both singular and plural.
As it is in dutch, by the way. The difference between 15 euro and 15 euros is, that the former is a price (no, not a prize ), while the latter is a collection of 15 coins.

ARTRAG:

Quote:

are you sure that Quote: there was a lot of MSX action is passive in English? I am not sura at all, as the verb to be has no object.

As said, the very first sentence of the post was active, but the rest really is completely passive.

Quote:

where the part that says Quote: Not only were two interesting hardware projects simply needs the "there".

Nope, sorry. "were...announced" is definitely passive.

dvik:

Quote:

I must say that the contents of the articles is more important though,

Hm, the form in which a message is written, is also part of the content.

Quote:

and I think the MRC crew and users are doing an excellent job providing us with interesting posts.

That's absolutely true!

Quote:

(Btw, Using active voive is hard. I ran a grammar check on this post and although I tried hard, the check found two passive sentences )

Heh, I know. Using a passive voice is apparently commonplace in non-english languages and it's a habit that's very hard to break. It's a cultural thing

We're all computer geeks here, screw any grammer but coding grammer
(but I do find this post rather interesting!)

Quote:

(apostrophy) Actually, a native speaker told me that in english "euro" is both singular and plural. As it is in dutch, by the way. The difference between 15 euro and 15 euros is, that the former is a price (no, not a prize ), while the latter is a collection of 15 coins.

I always prefer to say '€ 15,-'. Instead of using euro(s), that is. Heck, why do we have the latin+euro charset then, eh!