Zoo by Radarsoft in english

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By Vampier

Prophet (2385)

Vampier's picture

15-03-2017, 18:22

1 De zebra neemt het u hoogst "
2 kwalijk dat hij tijdens zijn "
3 gras-dessert gestoord wordt "
4 en geeft een ferme trap met "
5 links-achter. Per ongeluk "
6 raakt hij uw hoofd. We "
7 pleiten dan ook voor "
8 doodslag... "

The zebra takes it personally to be interrupted during his gras-dessert which results in a swift kick with his back left. He hits your head by accident. We will plead manslaughter...

By gdx

Enlighted (4693)

gdx's picture

16-03-2017, 00:58

Nobody can say whether the text #4 is correct or not?

Vampier,
It is too long. When the player dies the text must not exceed 6 lines of 30 characters.

By Louthrax

Prophet (2406)

Louthrax's picture

16-03-2017, 03:07

gdx wrote:

Nobody can say whether the text #4 is correct or not?

I would just remove the 's' in "strokes" (the rest looks good to me but I'm not a native english speaker).

By ro

Scribe (4473)

ro's picture

16-03-2017, 08:28

I like Vampier's aproach more. Translation is not just exchanging one word for another. Using the "flow" of the language can result in much more compact sentences. So:

"The zebra takes it personally "
"to be interrupted during his  "
"gras-dessert which results in "
"a swift kick with his back    "
"left leg at your head.        "
"We will plead manslaughter... "

By ren

Paragon (1868)

ren's picture

16-03-2017, 10:19

@gdx I believe all other player-dies texts are OK. I'll give you my final suggestion for the zebra text later today, okay?

By gdx

Enlighted (4693)

gdx's picture

16-03-2017, 14:24

OK. (The text from Ro also seems well to me)

By Manuel

Ascended (18133)

Manuel's picture

16-03-2017, 21:46

"gras-dessert"?

By gdx

Enlighted (4693)

gdx's picture

17-03-2017, 01:05

Adding an "S" is not a problem:

"The zebra takes it personally "
"to be interrupted during his  "
"grass-dessert which results "
"in a swift kick with his back "
"left leg at your head.        "
"We will plead manslaughter... "

By ren

Paragon (1868)

ren's picture

17-03-2017, 12:02

Since the translation tries to translate the original Dutch as close as possible, I figure #1 is best.
Only 'lashes out' can be replaced by 'kicks out' instead:

1 The zebra takes offense for   "
2 being interrupted during his  "
3 grass dessert and kicks out.  "
4 By accident he hits your      "
5 head. We therefore plead      "
6 manslaughter...               "

@gdx: #4 isn't correct grammatically.

By gdx

Enlighted (4693)

gdx's picture

17-03-2017, 13:35

Updated!

Download: Here.

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